


My North Star.

by loveheals



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 09:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17999132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveheals/pseuds/loveheals
Summary: Alex has pushed Michael away so many times and finally Michael seemed to have gotten tired of it. He is ready to move on from this toxic romance that is draining him of all his energy.Alex has his reasons for pushing Michael and in his pain saturated mind they are good enough to let Michael go.However the universe has other plans for soulmates...





	My North Star.

Alex Manes slumped heavily with a grunt on the chair under the ratty old canopy shading the weathered metal chairs in front of Michael Guerin's airstream. He rubbed his knee where the prosthetic limb cut into when he walk a bit more than usual, and today, he had walked a lot. The airstream and the barren desert surrounding it brought so many memories to him even though it is not the original location Michael's trailer used to be. That too was thanks to Alex and the Air Force Michael was evicted from his farmland, he treasured so much. He was reliving many a moment that he came here and not a single happy memory to think about. Of course a few of them started really good but he had to ruin them, Every time. He was particularly remembering the day he came to find Michael packing his battered old pickup truck with his mere belongings. When Michael said he was leaving to Tennessee Alex's heart had come to a complete stand still. Tennessee was so far away, he would not see Michael Guerin ever. How can he go on without him in his life? He had thought. 'You were in Iraq for 10 years. Did fine without him' his brains supplied unhelpfully. Well, fine was not exactly the word he would use for a life without Michael Guerin. He had missed him to the point of wanting to shoot himself for so many times he had lost count of. 'You were not even strong enough to do that’ the voice in his head was starting to sound awfully lot like his father's. Alex sighed and shook his head in defeat, looking about him as he had awakened from deep slumber, just to find that it had gotten really dark outside. “Where had the time gone” he said to himself and stretched his aching limbs verging on going numb. He had been so distracted by his thoughts he hadn’t even felt the time passing. 

The sound of a vehicle approaching from a distance made his throat run dry. Not knowing how Michael would react to seeing him after he opened his trap and spit a shit load of stupid things at him. If Michael chased him off the land, he would understand, he would have no choice actually but to accept it. He sat up straight and was wracking his mind what he would say to Michael, when the pickup came to a screeching stop, sending gravel and dust all over the place and on top of that Alex heard the hooting and drunken laughter and his whole body lost its strength to even blink. Michael wasn’t alone. 

It was the same girl from the reunion and they were both laughing and pulling at each other’s clothes. As much as it pains Alex to see Michael’s beautiful face light up with happiness someone other than himself is the responsible of, he knew it is the reality most of the time. Right now, as he watched from the shadows sinking even lower into the darkness, so as not to be discovered. Michael was happy and if he saw Alex, his happiness would just evaporate as usual. ‘He deserve to be happy and I am not the person to give him that. Every time I met him I have only been able to hurt him’. Alex watched as the two love birds kiss passionately and struggled to open the door of the old trailer, finally opening, they both stumbled inside with fits of laughter.

Alex had never felt pain as he felt right now. Even the IED that took his leg had not hurt this bad, he was sure, and at least he was knocked out by all the painkillers he was hooked up to throughout the heeling process. But this, here right now the pain ripping through his body was too much to bare. His vision blurred as torrent of tears flooded his eyes and spilled over down his cheeks. The lump in his throat made it hard for him to breathe or swallow. Every single muscle, sinewy, and every cell felt as if they were being torn apart and all he could do was curl up on himself on the dirt ground and wait for it to pass. He was so tired, of being hurt physically and mentally, throughout his life, as long as he could remember, there was only hurt and pain. Absent mother, abusive father, bullies at school, his own friend turning against him, the Air Force, the war and the blast that left him a cripple, it was just one after the other, every bad and painful thing a man could endure was thrown at him, however he had hung on, thus far, for just one reason, for just one person. Michael Guerin, was his rock, his beacon, rope that tied him so he would not drift away into nothingness and his north start which was to lead him home. But today, he lost all that as well. he had pushed the only person who cared for him, one too many times and he had had enough. Michael was ready to move on without Alex. He was happy like Alex had never seen him before and it hurt so much Alex feared his heart would finally give in and just stop beating, ending the suffering for him and Michael. As he laid on the freezing cold ground he felt the darkness closing in and his vision going dark. He was ready to embrace death, because he was tired of being in pain. He would rather die than watch the only person that kept him alive being taken away from him, driven away from all the baggage he carried around with him. His eyelids were too heavy for him to keep from closing so he let them fall and with a last whispered word he let his body fall to the ground and then it was darkness. “Michael!”


End file.
